3 years later......

...and I think I have got my muse back. I don't know where she went, but I have my suspicions that my Ukrainian wife had scared her off. So obviously I had to get rid of the wife. Er, if the powers that be are reading this I don't mean 'got rid of her' in the sense that you need to come and dig up my garden (although it could do with a good turn over), no what I mean is that we are now divorced and she is living happily with her new passport and results of her UK citizenship tests.

So if the proof is in the pudding here I am back blogging and feeling like I want to write again. So perhaps all's well that ends well. Its New Years Eve and Ive been wanting to do one of those projects that makes you rich when some publisher or producer finds your blog and enjoys it so much they immediately want to pay you loads of money for the book and film rights. So I have been toying with a few ideas. Obviously Belle de Jour cornered the prostitution market so that's out. And in truth I didn't really see myself as a high class 55 year old male hooker - and I'm not sure what the market is like here in Plymouth - I guess all those matlots have lots of money when they come off their ships - but think about the diseases - eek.

No I need something different, something eye catching and new and modern. Phew its hard. I'm thinking about posting a picture a day - so a picture about my life every single day of the year. I know its been done before but this year I am looking to change my life. I'm fed up with my job and am seriously looking to move. So it might be quite significant. Ive started the change by resigning a job I had with the Open University. So I am on the path - lets hope its not a slippery slope.

So that's what I going to try and do. The problem is, is I am going to fall at the starting line as I am off to Gran Canaria on Saturday and may not be able to blog till I get home. I going to set up my phone to be able to blog from it - but I may be prohibitively expensive unless I can find free wi fi.

So the first pick will be New Years Day.

Lets hope my muse stays with me for the year!

Its a hard knock life

Especially when you have to work. I know I have been away for a while and have really been ignoring this blog, well not ignoring it, but just not having the time to spend on it. life has got really busy for a while.

There are lots of things I could write about but for the time being I am all written out, I have been pouring out report after report at work and its exhusting to try and think of something to write on this blog. I should be writing a report now and they are about a month late!!

So I will try to be better please keep the faith

Love to you all

rob

Blimey Is it that Long

Since I last blogged, it must be, because here I am older and more irritable!

I have been really busy these past few months and have not had the free time to sit and blog or even read blogs so the blogiverse has been passing me by and not noticing apart from Gemmack that is!

Anyway the most interesting thing has happened to me, I seem to have turned into a grumpy old man. And its happened almost over night. Just until recently I was the friendly and calm Dr. Rob you all know and love, but recently I have had some venom! Everything has been annoying me. And I don't think its just the heat. Oh I know I was always one to complain at resturants, but they always desearve it, now I seem to spend a lot of time muttering under my breath about things, people, service, jobs, children furry bunny rabbits and so on.

It came to a point when just this week we had to have a meeting with Enterprise the car hire people because even they had got fed up with my complaining. But once again they deserved it, late cars, dirty smelly cars, damaged cars, surly staff (surly because they are all graduates and the best job they can get is renting cars!) the list goes on, anyway the conclusion of the meeting was I'm right, they're useless and we'll be renting our cars off Vospers from now on! Na nan na na na.

What to do, I know that actually a could do with about a month in a place that has a bona fide Maharishi where I could chant quietly, do soome meditation and yoga on the beach as the sun shines gently down on my relaxing body. But the bloody Greek Embassy can't promise a Schengen Visa for my wife before the dates we want, they can't promise anything not even a quick hummus kebab. And we only want two weeks in Crete please mr nice Greek consulate man, if you're reading this - get a spurt on for Zeus's sake!

We also went to Cambridge for their open day, what a shambles!!! Just because they're the best doesn't mean to say you can't put a bit of an effort into it, not one of the colleges gave so much as a pen away, my uni gives away mountains of them and other stuff as well. My wife was heart broken, what no pens and just a few measly plastic carrier bags, how would that look to her folks back home in Ukraine if we can't send them any freebies.

I mean at least Oxford gave us a lunch! All cambridge could muster was a few fancy bisuits and a plastic cup of tepid orange juice, this for someone who had had to get up at 3.30 a.m. in the morning (middle of the night really) and drive for 5 hours just to get there for the first meetings.

And why o why o why do cambridge seem to employ excentrics as their top people, is it that thing about the line between brilliance and madness is a fine one. Looneys the lot of them!

And even worse my stepson wanted to go to look at the Computer Science Department - ha Geek City Central U.K. is what it should be called. All sandels, google tee shirts and mad hair and thats just the lecturers!

It was pointed out to us by the king of the mad people - the dean of faculty I think he's called, that most of the idiot savants stumbling around the building were probably millionaires or well on the way to becoming one, he himself, I was told had started 12 businesses! And was one of those said millionaires. Actually not much was said about the actual learning of computer science per se, but a lot was said about becoming millionaires, great incentive to keep the application numbers up hey!

The punting was nice though!

Anyway see how irritable I've got, ypou're actually quite lucky that I haven't been blogging for the past month or so or I might have had to vent my spleen!

Have a nice day now!

Bank Holiday Blues

Isn’t it great to be back at work after the Bank Holiday?

I had a pretty traditional bank holiday – I trashed the bathroom and bought a sofa!

But I also experience the motorway on Friday evening as the great bulk of London decided to make their way South West to Devon and Cornwall for their short break. I had never experienced this before and it was, I can tell you quite alarming. The motorway was overfull and the traffic was moving quite slowly out of London, but that didn’t stop some people trying to reach their destination much quicker than the rest of us. These were the people, often in highly priced cars who simply forgot, or just ignored the basic practices of driving on motorways.

One of the key ‘rules of the road’ in this country is not to undertake. Visitors to Britain will notice that lane discipline on the roads is quite strict and most people do stick to the rules. But not on a bank holiday Friday on the motorways out of London. It was exhausting, not only having to cope with the slow moving traffic but watch out for the kamikaze drivers zipping along on your offside, these are the ones that are not to visible in the mirrors and because of the discipline one doesn’t often expect to have large cars zipping past the passenger doors.

The other thing I noticed was that when we stopped at Reading Services, the place was heaving. This was I expect because all the townies, enroute to Cornwall, were panic buying at the Marks and Spencer’s outlet that is now part of this particular Motorway service station. I guess they were filling up on food in the expectation that in deepest darkest Cornwall they would have to spend the weekend living off pasties and fish n chips rather than this slightly upper crust junk food that they are used to.

I was in London to get visa’s for my wife and family, who are, as you know, Ukrainian, we had to go to Croydon to be exact. When ones goes through this, it has to be planned meticulously months in advance, the right papers have to be generated and collated, bank statements and pay slips have to be saved, letters with names and dates from utility companies have to be placed in date order and so on.

I have been quite satisfied with myself that over the past few years all the visa’s I have had to apply for have been granted, due I am sure to my meticulous planning. So it was a bit of a shock to find that upon arriving at the IND offices in Croydon to find that not only had I used the wrong form fro Vitaly, but I had also forgotten to take my PIN number for the credit card I was going to use to pay the £1000 fee! Disaster! Fortunatly I had just been paid so could use my debit card, the downside of this, of course is now we cannot eat for the rest of the month nor pay the mortgage!

Heres another something wot I wrote published on another website

Just to keep yoou interested, heres an article wot I wrote:

You can find it here

The Sound of Silence

I am sorry for the silence, but I have been unseasonally busy these past few weeks and have had to put my efforts into working for a change, I can assure you that I will get back to normal service as soon as I can - Monday hopefully

Enjoy the Eurovision song contest in the mean time !

The Proof of the Pudding

You Are Gonzo the Great

"Is something burning in here? Oh, it's just me." You're a total nutball who will do anything for attention. The first to take a dare, you'll pull almost any stunt. You're one weird looking creature, but your chickens don't mind!

The Muppet Personality Test

Expensive driving - cheap diesel

Recently I was driving about this fair country of ours, zooming up and down the motorway as one does. No I really do try to not use the motorway services if at all possible, but there are times, when you know the bladder isn’t going to make it home, or when it comes right down to it you are just hungry and you need something to eat.

So it was that I used the Moto Services in Reading, I used the facilities and decided that I was hungrey and didn’t really want to eat another sandwich. So I went to look at the hotplate, maybe they had a baked potato or something. The time was about 8 o’clock in the evening – they were selling breakfast! And that’s all!

Since when has the ‘all day breakfast’ become the staple diet in this country? Why can’t a large company like Moto provide some sort of decent food for travellers. I know it was tempting fate, because the last time I visited this particular Moto, I was faced with the same problem, then they only had fish and chips on offer, no other food, nothing for vegetarians, well here at least I could have had, should I have wanted a grease laden plate the veggie breakfast! No thanks.

So it was back to the ubiquitous sandwich, I am getting sick of cheese ploughman’s!

The other thing about the motoway services that I noticed was that the diesel was now over £1 a litre!

My solution is hereYou know it makes sense!

May the Fourth Be with you

Happy Star Wars Day!

HOMEMADE STAR WARS (Funny Videos)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Tis a funny thing - language

I like this, and I liked it so much I stole it from Cary who you can find here and also because I am half planning to take my wife to Stratford upon Avon to see Romeo and Juliet by the RSC for our 2nd Wedding anniversary which is coming up soon - (romantic hey?) So hail to the chief! (And it was his Birthday on the 23rd!) and I'm pretty sure Bill would've have a blog too!

If you cannot understand my argument, and declare "It's Greek to me", you are quoting Shakespeare; if you claim to be more sinned against than sinning, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you recall your salad days, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you act more in sorrow than in anger, if your wish is father to the thought, if your lost property has vanished into thin air, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you have ever refused to budge an inch or suffered from green-eyed jealousy, if you have played fast and loose, if you have been tongue-tied, a tower of strength, hoodwinked or in a pickle, if you have knitted your brows, made a virtue of necessity, insisted on fair play, slept not one wink, stood on ceremony, danced attendance (on your lord and master), laughed yourself into stitches, had short shrift, cold comfort or too much of a good thing, if you have seen better days or lived in a fool's paradise - why, be that as it may, the more fool you, for it is a foregone conclusion that you are (as good luck would have it) quoting Shakespeare; if you think it is early days and clear out bag and baggage, if you think it is high time and that that is the long and short of it, if you believe that the game is up and that truth will out even if it involves your own flesh and blood, if you lie low till the crack of doom because you suspect foul play, if you have your teeth set on edge (at one fell swoop) without rhyme or reason, then - to give the devil his due - if the truth were known (for surely you have a tongue in your head) you are quoting Shakespeare; even if you bid me good riddance and send me packing, if you wish I were dead as a door-nail, if you think I am an eyesore, a laughing stock, the devil incarnate, a stony-hearted villain, bloody-minded or a blinking idiot, then - by Jove! O Lord! Tut, tut! for goodness' sake! what the dickens! but me no buts - it is all one to me, for you are quoting Shakespeare.- Bernard Levin

Bird Flu

I'm waiting for the virus
I'm waiting for the cough
I'm waiting for the Bird Flu
Just to pop me off

I'll have a runny nose
And a roaring red sore throat
I'll want a pound of grapes or two
I'll probably start to bloat

So bring me heinz tomato soup
And a mansize box of tissues
Books and mags and lucozade
Write this down now, I've got issues

Send all the swans to Swanage
The ducks to far Peking
The geese re route to Canada
Get the chickens on the wing

Turn the emus into handbags
Smash all the ostrich eggs
Fill the Blue Mosque full of turkeys
Please heed these word I beg

Before I get the sniffles
Send all the swallows home
Send a hundred million pigeon pies
To the Monsegniours in Rome

Lets burn the feather dusters
And spoil the birdsnest soup
Lets send the seagulls out to sea
Before I get the croup

I'm just waiting for the virus
Ducking the sparrows sneeze
I'm feeling rather heady
Hush - Is that a wheeze

I'll give me just a week or two
Before the virus hits
But before the bastard gets me
I'm offing all the tits!

Illness and Fame

I have been away awhile because I have had the dreaded virus, not once but twice, hardly a week or so after the first attack a second virus got me and placed me on my back over the easter Holidays. So while everyone was enjoying the sun I was sneezing into tissues in my crumpled and sweaty bed. God help me if the bird flu does arrive in my enfeebled state I'll be one of the first to go.

However, despite that I have become famous albeit for probably less than the fifteen minutes promised me by Andy Warhol. I have been reading many blogs by people who are achieveing wonderful things. Jonny B in Norfolk is bring up a baby, I wonder, if like the Norfolk Chavs highlighted on a documentary on TV last night the child too will need subtitles to be understood - innit! Various bright and brainy academics are also on my list of reading and they all seem to be doing wonderful things in their fields of expertise and of course Vit is an artist par excellent and lives the good life in Portuglandi. What more could one want? Well I would want to live here and have Jamie make me wonderful cakes

But until then there is an article nearly all about me in the Guardian online and you can read about it here.

I am waiting now to be headhunted!

I may have to kill you now

Isn't it wonderful that we now live in such an open society that even MI5 can advertise openly for spies, although they call them 'Senior Information Professionals' - well we all know what that means don't we - a job with a double 0 prefix!

Senior Information Professional



Although as I've mentioned before £25 - £33 grand don't seem much for a spy, one wonders how one will be able to afford the vodka martinis (shaken not stirred), the gambling, the beautiful jet setting women and the Aston Martin on £33 grand a year? I would imagine its a bit tight. I suppose though that there's a bit of 'back pocket' cash flying around to suppliment the income. You know the drill, brown paper envelopes stuffed with cash left at remote 'letter boxes' in Regents Park in exchange for the negatives or the top secret plans.


I would guess theres a bit of foreign travel thrown in as well, so there should be some expenses to claim back, I expect its a bit pricey getting to the Bahamas and staying in the best hotels and rolling the dice in the casinos, so that you can ingratiate yourself with Mr Big and theres always a bit of excitement to look forward to, to tell your mum about when you get home, the pools filled with Piranha, the crocodile lakes, the exploding underground HQ's and such!

I'm not sure that I want to apply I'm not too sure whether a white tux suits me and my wife would probably kill me if she caught me flirting with Moneypenny! And anyway I've a strict NO Sex in the Office rule! It messes up my desk!

This blog will self distruct in 30 seconds, if not please eat it!

Senior Information Professionals
Organisation: MI5 THE SECURITY SERVICE
Location: Central London
Salary: £25,826 - £33,428
Date posted: 10 Apr 2006
Closing date: 12 May 2006

We can’t afford to know half the story. With access to the very latest information sources we can carry out research vital to national security. Without it, we can’t. Don’t let that happen. That’s why we place the importance we do on our Information Bureau Team and the intelligence they supply. After all, having the right information, at the right time could mean the difference between obstructing terrorism, espionage and other threats to security – and the unthinkable. It’s that vital. Put simply, you’ll drive the development of our service. Based centrally or within a specific department, you’ll need to be able to perform a range of duties such as research, procurement, evaluating of sources and training. You’ll need to be able to build customer relationships and be proactive in marketing your capabilities. Innovative thinking, a flexible approach, CILIP qualifications and experience within an information role are essential to enhancing our knowledge base. Up-to-date with all the latest online and hard copy information sources, you’ll also have experience of business development and resource selection. You will be eligible to apply, you must be a British citizen and one of your parents must be a British citizen or have substantial ties to the UK. Candidates must normally have been resident in the UK for 9 out of the last 10 years; this is particularly important if you were born outside the UK.

Due to our vetting procedure your application may take up to 8 months to process.
Closing date to request an application: Friday 12th May 2006. Closing date to return your application: Friday 19th May 2006.

Discretion is important to the Service, so please only discuss this application with your partner and/or immediate family. The Security Service is committed to reflecting both Equal Opportunities and the society we protect.

10 things a guy should know by the time he's 50!

Now I’m 52 it has become clear to me that there are certain things a guy should know by the time he is fifty, now this isn’t a definitive list and you might want to make additions, they are not in ranked order either!


1. Use chopsticks
2. Know where and what a clitoris is and how to use it
3. Know how to change the oil on your car and have done it – this doesn’t mean you know to take it to Kwik Fit when the red lights on!
4. Order 2 beers in at least four different languages not counting your own
5. Fix a dripping tap
6. Be able to cook a reasonable meal – cheese on toast or pizza do not count!
7. Use a washing machine
8. How much alcohol it takes to get you pissed and generally stay below that limit
9. That tight snow washed jeans a waist size too small are a fashion mistake
10. Know instinctively where the best bluebell wood is, the best beach, the best tearoom in a strange town, the nicest walk, the best view - when the wife wants a day out.

What else should be here?

Only Cowboys cause the blues

It seems that my plumbing fame has travelled and that I am in demand by my wife’s Ukrainian Girls! So with spanners, hammers and assorted screwdrivers I attended the scene.

One bathroom. The problem is explained to me, the water isn’t draining out of the bath. So out comes the tried and trusted solution – Caustic Soda – Two bag full and loads of boiling water later the bath still isn’t draining properly, in fact, as is demonstrated to me, when the sink is emptied, the water comes back up out of the bath drain – huh?

Obviously more drastic plumbing action is needed. So the side of the bath has to come off and the inner workings have to be viewed. While my sink plumbing may have been put in by someone named Heath Robinson, I understand that this plumber was called Shane Clint Rowdy Maverick Doc No Name Cassidy and apparently he had turned up for work on a Palomino chewing on a ceegar, whilst whistling Dixie having come from his homestead in Missoura.

Yes it was that obvious this was the work of a cowboy! Had no one ever taken it upon themselves to explain the inner workings of plumbing and perhaps just an inkling of how gravity works, perhaps a short example, like dropping a large brick onto the guys head! It was obvious to see why the bath wasn’t draining, it was because the drain pipe rather than being fitted so that the water would flow downwards (hence the gravity lesson) the drain pipe to this bath had a distinct upward slant away from the trap. This is what gave it away to me.

Plus the pool of water under the bath was also an indication that something else was wrong. A quick examination shows that this lonesome cowboy had fitted the plughole but without making it water tight by using putty or silicone or something that would stop the water from leaking out of the bath.

Closer examination bought about by the fact that when the water came up out of the drain it bought with it what seemed to be granules of sand and cement suggested the pipes were still blocked, ah, its obvious isn’t it, that’s why the Caustic soda didn’t work. This rhinestone cowpoke had let the tile cement fall into the bath and then just swilled it down the plughole and as there was no gravity to push the cement down the pipes, it has probably solidified on the upwards portion of the piping.

There gonna be a showdown in the old town soon, I’m going up against this mangy dawg on Saturday and see if I can solve the doggone problem.

Aw shucks, I’ll keep you posted Kimosabe! Hi Ho Silver awaaaaay! I'm off to Nottingahm for a few days to a conference I've organised - nothing to do with plumbing or DIY related however.

DIY Time

This weekend it has been DIY time again – there is never any rest!. This time was the kitchen tap. We had one of those mixer taps in some sort of moulded plastic that matched the sink, both were in a foul creamy brown sort of colour. And both seemed to attract stains. Tell me this Mike Da Hat, don’t the people who make these things ever ever test them for staining? I mean throw an old tea bag into the sink and there’s a brown stain that never seems to disappear!

Anyway the also seem to have failed to test the tap for longevity. Unusually rather than the tap mechanism failing what happened here was that a split actually appeared on the ‘neck’ of the tap and water started spurting out of it, so that every time we turned on the tap we had a little replica of the Mannequin Piss! And as Murphy’s Law dictates whenever we had the hot water on the spurt cascaded across the hot water tap, so if one forgot to add cold water then scalding water would leave red marks on the back of your hands.


So it was on to ebay to find a replacement kitchen tap, this was easy enough as there are loads of them at reasonable prices, we got quite a modern one to match our modern, stylish lives. The next job was to fit it.

Of course by now you know me, I laugh in the face of the tradesmen and women in this country, you will remember that you are reading the words of a man who single handedly repaired his washing machine, plumbed in the dishwasher and rebuilt the bedroom window, replacing a tap would of course be a matter of a moments work to a man such as I.

That was until I looked into the cupboard under the sink!

I now firmly believe that the plumber who did the plumbing in our kitchen was called Heath Robinson, the maze of pipes under there was remarkable, fortunately not a soldered joint could be seen, at least this genius used Yorkshire fittings.

Anyway still undaunted I set too. Now I don’t know about you, but when I do this type of work, I like to be sort of close to what I am doing, by that I mean I find it very uncomfortable to have to do all the work at arms length. Despite the fact that having to do the work at arms length is like some torture devised at Guantanamo Bay where they are hoping to turn the former Jihads into socially useful plumbers, if the ever let them out.

The other problem with working at arms length is that everything is outside my vision, the focal length of my glasses places everything at about that distance fuzzy, I mean they are good enough to drive, I can see the TV, read books, and so on, but doing something under the sink at arms length seems to render me semi blind, so I even try taking my glasses off, but still no dice, maybe one of the consultant opticians reading this blog can come up with some sort of rational explanation!

So I eventually go the old taps off, with few problems, I still had all my fingers and marbles. All I had to do now was reverse the process and get the new tap on. Which I did, got it all connected up, but of course there was a minor problem which meant dismantling it all again and going up to B&Q to get some more olives, no I wasn’t peckish for a salty Mediterranean snack, I mean the brass olives that one uses with the Yorkshire fittings.

But of course I did it, no doubt saving myself a huge fortune in plumbing bills and increasing my credibility with my wife. The tap looks great and works like a dream pouring out hot or cold water at the flick of the stainless steel handle.

Of course it looks the sink still looks like shit and I should have bought a nice stainless steel one while I was at it, but then the cabinets would have looked worse than they are and of course our boiler is old and need replacing, but not where it is, so it has to be moved on to the wall where some cabinets are, and then we would need to strip off the horrible artex (who was the imbecile who invented that and how does one get it off the wall, without actually demolishing the wall – and why o why do people actually think that Artex looks nice?)


O I also fitted on of those pot racks that hang from the ceiling to hang our saucepans from so that our kitchen can look like a professional kitchen where the likes of Jamie and Hugh would cook. _ I’ve only banged my head on the pots three times – I suppose I’ll get used to them – once the concussion has gone.

Next time, fitting laminate flooring in the bathroom, but the question is, should I buy a new bathroom first and get ride of the horrible avocado suite that’s in their now before I do the flooring?

The Great Blog Story - Chapter 13

Your humble writer here, has stepped into the breach and has written chapt 13 of the Great Blog Story and its now up and live and you can read it by clicking on the link on the side bar.

Enjoy!

Holiday in St. Ives Cornwall

This last week I have been on Holiday. Together with the Ukrainian Wife we went for a few days to sunny St. Ives in Cornwall. We walked around a lot in the rain and went into a lot of galleries where struggling artists were trying to sell paintings similar to the picture above. I took that for free on my digital camera. If I had wanted the same picture but in acrylic on board or canvas, it could have cost me about £300!

They look something like this:

  

After walking around a bit more and having a coffee, we went to the Tate Gallery in St Ives. It wasn't very good. Although there were some nice pictures by Turner
Turner moonlight 



who had toured around the West Country making sketches, as one does. We looked at the graffiti outside of the Tate and that was much more interesting that some of the artwork inside the Tate.






The main display other than the Turner was by some women who painted things like this:


Blue Square



I'm sorry but I just don't get it.


We walked around some of the craft markets as well, but some of the things on offer there were, well, just a bit too dubious!




On another day we went to the Seal Sanctuary in Gweek. And looked at the seals, it rained that day too!




But all in all St Ives is a Beautiful Place



I recommend it.

Trading Standards and DELL Computers

I've just this minute reported DELL computers to trading standards. It really annoys me that these companies can get away publising misleading ads about their products.

It all started when I saw an ad in last wednesdays Daily Mirror. The ad draws you attention to what they call 'Dell's Lowest Priced Notebook' and it is priced at £299. Which to me looks like a bargain because I have been looking for a laptop for my wife, who just want to use word and excel, so we don't really need a top spec one.

This laptop, the Dell Inspiron 1300 is quoted as having

• Intel Celeron M processor 370
• Windows XP Home edition
• 256mb ram
• 40gb hard drive
• 24x CD/DVD drive
• 56K modem
• 1 year euro collect and return service

Sounded good to me, so I went to their website, think I might purchase one.

On the website www.dell.co.uk/offer you actually find that the Inspiron 1300 is quoted at £348 pounds, you click through the links to buy and suddenly the price is up to £424 and I havenh't done anything yet, just clicked through the links!

By changing some of the selections I now have it down to £407 .48p, thats a bit off the quoted £299

So I telephone their sales desk, and speak to a very nice man, probably in Bombay because I couldn't recognise his irish accent!

He goes all through the listing again and comes up with a price of £405

Now where is that £299 Laptop they are advertising?

Illness abounds

Since last week, my last post actually, I have been ill. The virusy sort that makes you feel like a peice of felt thats been swept under a carpet in a place where lots of people in spiky high heels are walking all over you! PLus its making me cough a lot and I have an on going headache.

So i have spent much of the time in Bed, except for the weekend when it was my daughter matilda's seventh birthday, and I as it was also my weekend to have here I couldn't be ill for her could I, so I put on a brave face and soldiered on. We did all sorts of things and went to see Chicken Little. I thought that this might give me the opportunity for 90 minutes of sleep in a darkened cinema, but I actually watched the film and it was OK (ish) and sort of relative to a situation I am embroiled in with my littlest sister - all that moralising about closure and talking it through and listening to each other touched a raw nerve!

But most spookily, yesterday I did actually attempt to come back to work, even though I still wasn't feeling my best and guess what happened...

Yes I had a POT NOODLE!

What you say 'A POT NOODLE? - yeeuuuurrrrgh!

I Know I know, the last time I had a pot noodle was about 20 years ago, but yesterday after a team breifing I walked out of my office into the local shop and bought myself a POT NOODLE for lunch.

I don't know why I did it, perhaps it was some sort of Benylin enduced hympnotic state I had entered into (especially after snoozing through nearly 2 hours of a team briefing).

Or perhaps my body was craving some of the stuff thats in this, I hesitate to call it food. Maybe the antioxidants and stuff they use will have some beneficial effect on my raddled body, ease the coughing maybe (I've been coughing like an elephant with a hair stuck up its trunk) or something, maybe the eminent doctors and scientiosts that read this blog will come up with an answer - my name on the patent please.

Anyway today, even though I am coughing my way towards my coffin I have to drive up to Bristol, I should be in bed, I think, but I have something to do that has been booked for a while and it would just be such a hassle to have to re book it.

Who says us men make a meal out of being sick, I think I am being a brave soldier an all.....

Lots of pink fluffies and sympathy in the comments box please!