Freshers Fair

Here, at this august emporium of knowledge and learning, like migrating wildebeest, the students are returning from their long hot summers in Goa, Phuket and Rock. The new additions to the herd, the ‘fresher’, are easy to spot. They are wearing their newest/oldest funkiest clothing to make a good first impression and to stamp their new student identity on whom so ever may want to cast an envious eye over them. The tee shirt with the oh so ironic comment on it, the brand new hideously expensive trainers finangled out of grandpa, the GAP sweatshirt bought by uncle and aunty for 'passing your exams', the denim jeans showing just enough underpant or thong.

They are also being shadowed at a discreet distance, having been told not to walk ‘too close’ by their offspring so as not to damage the independent image too much, by nervous but relieved looking parents carrying twenty or so supermarket bags full of important provisions that will ensure that the fledging will not actually starve to death in the first week or spend all their money on phone in pizzas.

That the said bags contain lots of healthy food and drinks that have been specially chosen by the concerned mum and dad is immaterial to the fresher as they have already planned in their minds eye that they are going to spend the next three years eating nothing but pot noodles and baked beans in order to have enough money to drink themselves into oblivion every night.

The foods contained in the bags will probably only be consumed should the male student cop off in his first week and invite the female back to his place where she will discover all the goodies and proceed to prepare them all. The female fresher, of course will, like the good girl she is, eat everything her mum and dad bought her and then within the next week join the goth soc, lose her virginity, get a tongue piercing, dye her hair pink and dress only in black, sending all the nice clothes her aunts and uncles bought her to go to uni in to the Hunt Sabs socs jumble sale and become a committed vegetarian.

As soon as the fresher has been allocated the room and all the bags have been transferred from the back of the car the parents are with out ceremony wished goodbye and sent on their way. For the first time, the student is on their own. The poky student room feels like a New York Loft, all this space, all the walls to cover, my own bed all the fun to be had, what fun, what freedom.

Meanwhile as the car carrying mum and dad hits the motorway out of town, they wipe away the tears that had been raining down their cheeks, the tears of joy as they realised that at long last they had been relieved of the monster that had been sharing their house since puberty hit at 13 or so. No more moods, no more arguments, no more sitting up all night wondering where the monster was, till this time in the morning!!!! They now had their own house back, all this space, the walls to redecorate, their own bed, what fun, what freedom, and no more whispered orgasms!

Yes there’s a lot to be said about getting a higher education!!!

Walking and health update.

Tuesday was an average day walking, not much to report about 6,500 steps so didn’t make my goal but yesterday was worse. I was up at 4:00am having to drive to Wales to do some work, I had to be in a school at 8:45 so had to be on the road by 5:00am. This is an unhealthy life, only about 4,500 steps all day, just sat on my arse in a car. So that’s only 10,000 steps in two days! Here’s what I ate yesterday whilst driving.
2 Apples (good start)
1 grande latte and 2 croissants (at a garage for breakfast))
1 chocolate muffin and 1 medium latte (in a supermarket waiting for appointment as I was early)
1 bottle diet coke (lemon)
1 packet Cheese and Onion Crisps (whilst driving)
(By this time the amount of caffeine that I had imbibed not only had me wired but desperate to go for a wee all the time because it’s a diuretic as well! – I usually drink de-caff)
A peach
3 slices of toast when I got home
decaff tea x 1
An apple
A Boost chocolate bar
One big bowl of borsch with potatoes in it. With a bread roll.
Some vodka, about three fingers – relaxing in the bath..

It’s like I’m on that programme ‘you are what you eat’, maybe I’ll have to keep a food diary to as well as a walk diary. Because as I can clearly see in this list if I only removed a few things from it my diet would be quite healthy.

Oh well today’s another day and you don’t want to know what I ate today!!!