The bad news is that my equipment has let me down once again! I think it was telling me lies. Because according to the pedometer I had done nearly 16,000 steps at close of play Friday evening. Serves me right I guess for trusting a piece of equipment given away cheap by the Daily Nail (name changed to protect the guilty and me from a libel case), that purveyor of right wing filthy lies.
No wonder I have been led astray by this little Judas in my midst. It would have continued to lie to me although the journey, it’s little digital numbers blinking away trustingly, the little comforting click click click of its pendulum, but all the time plotting and scheming behind my back. OH YES, I knew what it was up to right from the off, trying to lead me down the wrong path, so I would humiliate myself in front of my trusting readers and the watching world (including you, you lurkers) let me pause for a minute for my eyes to flash, my brows to furrow and to wipe the foamy spittle from my rabid lips.
Since nothing had dropped through my door on Saturday Morning from the huge pedometer corporations across the world (notably China and Taiwan) I resolved to buy a new one. One that I could trust, one that would become my friend, guide me yea through those dark valleys of the shadows, to climb every mountain and ford every stream, and comfort me on those dark nights away from home.
I searched the high streets and the low streets until in that wonderland of dreams we called Argos I finally found my friend, £9.99 cruelly reduced to £7.99 but all electric with seven, yes seven functions, with a good heart and a wet nose ready and willing to count steps in a truthful and honourable way.
I called him ‘Steppy’ and he has been strapped to my hip ever since, we are inseparable. (Except for when I am in bed, I am sorry but I make it a strict rule never to mix beds or baths with electrical implements, not since that fateful day when I was having a bath and fancied some toast! I can’t speak (yet) about the bed incident)
To the journey then:
Steps on Sunday 10,000, distance covered about 5.3 miles
I am now over the Tamar Bridge and into Cornwall striding out towards Bude and the Atlantic Ocean!
Onward into Cornwall
Even the signs attempt to humiliate
No wonder I have been led astray by this little Judas in my midst. It would have continued to lie to me although the journey, it’s little digital numbers blinking away trustingly, the little comforting click click click of its pendulum, but all the time plotting and scheming behind my back. OH YES, I knew what it was up to right from the off, trying to lead me down the wrong path, so I would humiliate myself in front of my trusting readers and the watching world (including you, you lurkers) let me pause for a minute for my eyes to flash, my brows to furrow and to wipe the foamy spittle from my rabid lips.
Since nothing had dropped through my door on Saturday Morning from the huge pedometer corporations across the world (notably China and Taiwan) I resolved to buy a new one. One that I could trust, one that would become my friend, guide me yea through those dark valleys of the shadows, to climb every mountain and ford every stream, and comfort me on those dark nights away from home.
I searched the high streets and the low streets until in that wonderland of dreams we called Argos I finally found my friend, £9.99 cruelly reduced to £7.99 but all electric with seven, yes seven functions, with a good heart and a wet nose ready and willing to count steps in a truthful and honourable way.
I called him ‘Steppy’ and he has been strapped to my hip ever since, we are inseparable. (Except for when I am in bed, I am sorry but I make it a strict rule never to mix beds or baths with electrical implements, not since that fateful day when I was having a bath and fancied some toast! I can’t speak (yet) about the bed incident)
To the journey then:
Steps on Sunday 10,000, distance covered about 5.3 miles
I am now over the Tamar Bridge and into Cornwall striding out towards Bude and the Atlantic Ocean!
Onward into Cornwall
Even the signs attempt to humiliate
Posts
2 comments:
It is a comfort to think of you, DrRob and dear old Steppy, bonding across the miles.
I am beginning to grow concerned however, as I have seen yiu head to the edge of the world. Do you not fear the precipice?
I'm worried that as you begin to walk on water the descriptions of the route are going to get a little tedious. "I walked past some interesting waves today." I think this problem needs to be addressed before you run out of scenery to describe.
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