Dr Robs 10 ideas to become rich

While I’ve been lying in bed, skiving, according to Simply Clare, but obviously to everyone else suffering from a very rare form of Avian flu, or St Vitus Dance or something that plainly strikes down extremely healthy men like me to such an extent that they are too weak to even make themselves a cup a soup, I’ve been considering my lot.

It came to me in a blinding flash, probably having overdosed on Lemsip, the ensuing hallucinations forced me into an alternative reality where all life’s’ truths were laid bare before me on a glittering yellow road, the breeze aromatic with the scent of lemons.

Yes as I coughed and wheezed it became apparent to me that I had been swapped at birth! Cleary some drunken nurse on night duty in Queen Elizabeth’s Hospital on the Hagley Road in Birmingham, put me back into the wrong cot, instead of the cot of the child of the rich and posh people where I should have been put. Now some oik with my name is living the life of riley while here I am worrying about the size of my overdraft and how I’m going to pay the next instalment on my mobile phone!

Yes I need to be rich or even a little richer would do. So I need a plan. Here’s what I have come up with:

Dr Robs 10 ideas to become rich. (I don’t need famous)

• Find my original birth parents and make them adopt me turning them against my usurper.
• Find a rich dowager, beguile her with my love making and get her to endow me with expensive gifts that can go straight onto ebay
• Jump on a tramp steamer to Ameriky I hear that there’s gold in them thar hills
• Write an extremely best selling novel about my hilarious life in poverty and sell the TV and Film rights. (Still waiting to hear back guys…)
• Sell this blog, apparently its worth $31,546.60, it’s not a fortune, but it’s a start, any offers?
• Start selling expensive coats to gullible women, especially those on large academic salaries
• Invent something – any ideas you mad scientists reading this
• Become famous (I know I’m a hypocrite but if Jade Goody can make a million…)
• Use the colour printer here at work to print my own money
• Beg
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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