Some questions for scientists

I have a few things puzzling me. Things that, I believe, only trained scientists can answer. So if you’re not a trained scientist please keep your half baked theories to yourself when it comes to the questions below! Of course you are allowed to believe in your half baked theories about the world, the universe, aliens and how they make green ketchup but me, being a trained scientist with a BSc and all, I don’t need to know about them. After all I have my own half baked theories to consider.

So here are the things that have been puzzling me for a while, things that I would like a scientific answer to. It’s no good sending me messages saying ‘that’s the way God planned it’ or ‘ce sera sera’ whatever. I need hard proof.

Puzzlement number 1.

I have owned my car for well over a year. So why is it that it is now giving me huge electric shocks whenever I touch it? Is it the cold air being denser creating friction and thus charging the outer skin of my car?. Is it the inch thick layer of road salt on the body of my car creating a chemical reaction with the metal on my car as it corrodes it away? If so I might have found the solution to the energy crisis – any energy company bigwigs reading this please note that this idea is mine so you’ll have to buy it off me as it’s a secret!

Puzzlement number 2 – this one is for the psychologists

I have an archos mp3 player. It has 10gigs of memory but it’s not as pretty as an ipod. What I want to know is how it calculates what mood I’m in and what tracks to play so that when I hear them they perfectly fit what I’m doing. Also how can it pre suppose tracks that I want to hear? When I was in the car the other day, I bet myself that I would hear a Jimi Hendrix track within the next two tracks and guess what the second track was – yes a Hendrix track (get this - it was set to random play) If im feeling mellow it plays all the mellow tracks if im driving, driving tracks like On the Road again by Canned Heat.

Does my mp3 player have some sort of A.I., is it possessed or have I stumbled upon a brand new psychological process which by writing this has just copyrighted it. A process hence forth known as the Burton effect. Which is, is your Brain pre guessing the MP3 player by analysing the first micro sound and then telling you this is the track that you really wanted to hear before you really hear it and how did the MP3 player know that? Top psychologists please note.

Puzzlement number 3.
Yesterday was a sunny day but the wind chill factor on the sea front in Plymouth might have been about minus 2 or 3. Out of the wind and in the sun it was pleasantly warm.

Can some scientist tell me what is wrong with all the parents who looked out of the windows saw Sun, dressed their kids in T shirts and nylon jogger bottoms and took them to the play park on the seafront, clearly missing the calendar on the wall showing 6th March and the barometer saying Cold!.

Perhaps there are some equations somewhere that will show how long a kid has to stand shivering, with an ice cream, while his dad goes on a ride with another kid, before hypothermia sets in or another equation which correlates the idiocy of the father against the number of kids shivering in the artic cold, just because they want to look like David Beckham who is actually in Madrid Spain where the climate is considerably warmer

So scientists answers please you know you are honour bound to answer these questions. Science is meant to be for the benefit of mankind so stop inventing things like BSE, Atomic Bombs and weapons of mass destruction and do something useful for a change. Like free ipods for all. (But not ones that are possessed or have A.I. its just too spooky).

Thank you.