Its official! I am now a contestant on Big Blogger. I am all of a tizzy. I know that there is some stiff competition in the house and I will have to be at my most erudite and witty best to get one over on some of these lads and lasses I will be entombed with.
It looks like it will be fun and I guess not a lot of work will get done in various offices across the country once we get started with the threatened tasks. It’s all a bit worrying as who wants to be the first out. What should I wear? Who will be my friend and who will be the Nasty Nick of the group? I hope we don’t have any Scottish whingers who’ll want to climb on the roof or have sex under the table eeeeyuuuwww - dirty.
I’m sure it will mean a constant watch on the site to pick up on the threads and the trends, one doesn’t want to be the quiet wallflower at the back and by the same token should one be a leader and popular, or the ‘father’ of the house? ‘Who’ll win no one knows’ is echoing around my head in an awful Geordie accent, not that the accents awful, its just that my mind can’t do a Geordie accent – its crap, my mind, at doing impersonations. It tries to impersonate some one quite bright, what with me being a Dr. and all, but it often fails miserable in its impersonation – a bit like Mike Yarwood.
Yes, so its going to be fun, a melange of bloggers all blogging out to the final bell. And to the winner the spoils. It looks like I have to donate something for the winner. I thought instantly about my wife, but what would the winner want with a Ukrainian woman that professes to own a Beretta automatic, anyway I’m too scared to give her away – she says she’s a good shot. And I guess that’s not in the spirit of the games. Of course it’s not the winning or losing but how one plays the game eh what! (Bollocks I want to win and rake in all the goodies, I can see it now parcels flooding to my address from across the country, O I’ll have a wild time putting them all up on ebay to reap my just (monetary) rewards.)
This could be the start of something big you know. I am sure that all the commissioning editors from all the big publications will be watching us. Gauging our talent and looking for the next Jeffery Archer or other good writers. We’ll be asked to maybe write a daily column in one of the dailies or the New Yorker, I’m personally going to be holding out for Playboy magazine, because as we all know people only buy it for the writing and the articles, so that’ll be a good audience to start with, people who know good writing when they see it. I think that having all those naked women in the magazine actually detract from the subject matter. Why o Why o Why do they have to spoil a good mag by having naked women in it, I just don’t understand!
Yes I know I will become a E list celebrity, they’re actually the best, a bit more down to earth than those who are D and C listers and who would want to hang out with the A’s and B’s anyway. Why would I want to hang out with Ms’ Jolli and Kylie (get well soon dear) and J’Lo etc etc, yawn, yes too boring. No us E listers will stay together moaning about stuff and having a nice cup of tea.
So Big Blo here I am, I’m coming, get ready,
It looks like it will be fun and I guess not a lot of work will get done in various offices across the country once we get started with the threatened tasks. It’s all a bit worrying as who wants to be the first out. What should I wear? Who will be my friend and who will be the Nasty Nick of the group? I hope we don’t have any Scottish whingers who’ll want to climb on the roof or have sex under the table eeeeyuuuwww - dirty.
I’m sure it will mean a constant watch on the site to pick up on the threads and the trends, one doesn’t want to be the quiet wallflower at the back and by the same token should one be a leader and popular, or the ‘father’ of the house? ‘Who’ll win no one knows’ is echoing around my head in an awful Geordie accent, not that the accents awful, its just that my mind can’t do a Geordie accent – its crap, my mind, at doing impersonations. It tries to impersonate some one quite bright, what with me being a Dr. and all, but it often fails miserable in its impersonation – a bit like Mike Yarwood.
Yes, so its going to be fun, a melange of bloggers all blogging out to the final bell. And to the winner the spoils. It looks like I have to donate something for the winner. I thought instantly about my wife, but what would the winner want with a Ukrainian woman that professes to own a Beretta automatic, anyway I’m too scared to give her away – she says she’s a good shot. And I guess that’s not in the spirit of the games. Of course it’s not the winning or losing but how one plays the game eh what! (Bollocks I want to win and rake in all the goodies, I can see it now parcels flooding to my address from across the country, O I’ll have a wild time putting them all up on ebay to reap my just (monetary) rewards.)
This could be the start of something big you know. I am sure that all the commissioning editors from all the big publications will be watching us. Gauging our talent and looking for the next Jeffery Archer or other good writers. We’ll be asked to maybe write a daily column in one of the dailies or the New Yorker, I’m personally going to be holding out for Playboy magazine, because as we all know people only buy it for the writing and the articles, so that’ll be a good audience to start with, people who know good writing when they see it. I think that having all those naked women in the magazine actually detract from the subject matter. Why o Why o Why do they have to spoil a good mag by having naked women in it, I just don’t understand!
Yes I know I will become a E list celebrity, they’re actually the best, a bit more down to earth than those who are D and C listers and who would want to hang out with the A’s and B’s anyway. Why would I want to hang out with Ms’ Jolli and Kylie (get well soon dear) and J’Lo etc etc, yawn, yes too boring. No us E listers will stay together moaning about stuff and having a nice cup of tea.
So Big Blo here I am, I’m coming, get ready,
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