I can't believe I am writing this. I went shopping this morning at 5:00am. Yes at 5 o bloody clock this morning I was pushing a trolly around my local Tesco's in the folorn hope that they would have some mince pies. There seems to be a serious mince pie shortage in Plymouth. I am expecting the Prime Minister to make a statement later.
And no this wasn't last minute buying, we went out last night to do the shopping like normal people, but like in Honduras before the hurricane hit or like the GUM shop in Soviet Moscow, the shelves where bare, not only of Mince Pies but of every thing else ebible or christmas themed.
Not a sprout, not a satsuma, not a pack of pink sausage meat to be seen! And this wasn't just the local shop this was a stay open 24hours mega store on the outskirts of town. So we hardly did any shopping and we have guests for supper tonight and nothing to feed them. Hence the 5am trip to the shops. But surprise suprise the shelves were still empty.
So I have had to revert to the hunter gatherer mode of my brain. I have to provide for my family if it kills me or it means killing others who get in my way. I have searched my desk for suitable weapons and shortly I will be hitting the Jungle we call town on a mission. I have my stapler fully locked and loaded and strapped to my ankle I have the hole punch for emergencies. For close combat I have sharpened that thing you use to take staples out of the pages.
I'm like Arnie in Predator I'm going to get those mince pies and the makings of the meal tonight if its the last thing I do.
I may be gone sometime......
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7 comments:
A real hunter gatherer would be off down to the fields with his army issues to snare a wild boar or 2 with nothing more than dental floss and a paper clip.
Have a great Xmas Rob.
Every year it seems as though people get more and more ridiculous in their shopping habits on the run up to Christmas - or any bank holiday in fact. They seem to think that they have to stock up for the next 6 months at least. Pity you're not living up this way - there was a nice plump squirrel to be caught in our garden! :)
Enjoy the rest of Christmas.
I had a similar 'mushroom and broccoli' (spelling??) experience but my hunter gatherer skills were in short supply.....I just gave up. Incidentally, a 24 hour Tesco??? Oh the memories of such conveinience! heh.
Hope you had a good Xmas with or without satsumas.
"I'm like Arnie in Predator "
If it clucks, we can stuff it...
So, didya get 'em? huh? Huh?
Hahaha! Don't you just love it when you forget you've left a comment, then find it again and think what you wrote was hilarious...?
All those sycophants don't even stop to wonder if you made it back home or not.
Hey Rob, did you make it?
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