Two Gay Dogs Fucking

I have finally got my North American Indian Name – ‘Two Gay Dogs Fucking’. This came about as I was taking a gentle stroll through the city centre this lunch time. There I was minding my own business when I came upon a gawping crowd. The focus of attention was the aforementioned dogs going at it like hammer and tongs. Well why not I thought. It’s a nice sunny day, there’s a hint of spring in the air sending tingles through our armpits and groins, and why not let the dogs enjoy it as well.

And they did seem to be enjoying it, great pink tongues lolling out of grinning mouths, eyes rolled up into their sockets, I don’t want to anthropomorphize here but they looked like they were smiling to me. I looked around and the crowd were enjoying it too. I couldn’t see a man with a bucket of water anywhere.

This simple bit of furry love action seemed to bring a smile to everyone’s faces and ribald comments abounded – ‘That’s right my son, fill yer boots’, it was then I noticed that they were both ‘sons’! While one was up and making jam the other had a great pink hard on – dogs are just so obvious, aren’t they? They might well call it ‘Puppy Love’ but these puppies were downright hardcore.

One section of the audience was made up of Arts students, you could tell they were ‘wacky’ arts students, by their uniform baggy black clothing, their uniform piercing, the pink hair on the girls, the blue on the boys and the fact that they were all frantically taking photographs of the carnal act being played out before them. No doubt these pictures will be the centre piece of their shocking end of term presentations a la Tracy Emin.

Another section of the fascinated audience were the owners of the dogs themselves, the half dozen down and outs who were enjoying the sunshine and the spectacle of their dogs fucking through that alcoholic haze that a couple of cans of Special Brew brings on first thing in the morning. These guys spent most of their time egging the dogs on, not that it looked liked they needed any egging, and guffawing at the students taking pictures.

I’m sure that the drunks missed a trick or two here, I am sure that for this singular performance they could have pan-handled their way around the crowd seeking gratuities in the same way that mime artists or those people who pretend to be statues do. I mean this was a bloody sight more entertaining that those statue people and I’m sure the event would have raised a few bob towards the next bottle of White Lightning.

I took what I could from this little cameo of human life. First of course the North American Indian Name, of course we all need one, I’m not sure how appropriate this one is, but I feel it’s the one I’ve been ‘given’ so I must honour it. The students will probably get satisfying jobs with their arts degrees as managers in fast food restaurants and the bums will remain as ever, honourable bums plying their trade with dignity.

And the dogs, well may the dogs fuck with abandon whenever and wherever they will – I envy them.