10 reasons why I love women - Valentines lecture No 3.

Hello, Its Monday and its still February, the sun is shining here in Sunny Devon and aren’t women fantastic creatures? Yes this is the third in the series of Valentines Lectures by Doctor Rob.

Really, isn’t it brilliant that women are fantastic and so diverse. Isn’t it wonderful that for every male out there, even Jeffery Archer, Pol Pot, Hitler and even, should he wish it, the Pope, there is or was a woman who thinks the sun shines out of his fundamental orifice! So men, if you are out there feeling lonely and blue, somewhere in the world there’s a lassie for you, as Robert Burns might have put it and yon Rabbie did put it about a bit, so he knows, you know!

So don’t despair if you have bad breath, a slight hunch, one leg longer than the other, no personality and dandruff, there is a woman for you somewhere in this wide wide world. That she might be in Ulan Bator, Outer Mongolia, should not be seen as a barrier, what with the internet, chat rooms and dating agencies, cheap airlines and all, this geographical discrepancy should be no problems for a get up and go sort of chap! (Remember after all I found my wife in Ukraine, being that sort of get up and go sort of chap and by the way I do not suffer any of the above infirmities – thank you)

So for this Valentines season here are my 10 reasons why I like women;

10 reasons why I like women.

First of course it has got to be….erm no that’s a bit too obvious
Second then has got to be…no wait that might be misconstrued and I’m not a misogynist
Third is easy it’s got to be erm….no that’s not right
Fourth O God I can’t say THAT can I?
Fifth No skip it
Sixth O yes yes yes yes yes yes yes NO!
Seventh erm….sorry
Eighth For a fact it’s got to be …hmmmm
Ninth D for delect…. no too corny
Tenth They are so….how can I put it…..like er….a bit…..I……hum hum hum


So there we have it, the 10 reasons why I like women, aren’t they great, what would we do without them apart from the cleaning and the washing up? I LOVE WOMEN; if I could get a badge with that on it I would wear it loudly and proudly on my lapel.

Women can’t live with them, can’t kill them – that’s a motto I once read and it’s a motto I have lived by ever since, it was a very clever man, or do I mean brave, who once said that. I can stand up proudly and say that of all the women I have known and married, I have not killed one of them, never even come close.

Yes as Valentines Day peeks its happy smile above the horizon of the not too distant future, we as men, should remember why we love women so much, what joy and happiness they bring into our lives. It is as if God designed them just for that purpose, why, we cannot simply suggest that women were an evolutionary accident can we, that all that sweetness and beauty was simply an accident of nature, no some higher being had to have a hand in this creation of pure art.

Maybe God, after all, is a woman – perhaps I ought to go to church more often!