I have just done one of those online IQ tests, you can find it here: http://uk.tickle.com/test/iq/start.html obviously I was well above average and I don’t want to crow so I will not tell you what my actual IQ was, suffice it to say that I will not remind you that I have a Phd!
It’s just that us geniuses have such a hard time. I mean look at the evidence in history, if we’re not mutilating ourselves, cutting ears off or committing suicide then some revolutionary oik who probably never went to school is putting us up against the wall spitting and swearing at us as we get shot between the eyes, the final indignity – the bullet to the brain! No finesse at all, at least the French invented a machine!
Being a bit of a bright spark in these modern times isn’t so easy either, we’re not all famous like that Stephen Hawking who has people fawning at his every robotic utterance, anyway what’s so good about a ‘brief’ history of time, if he was really clever he would write a long history of time, as time has been around for millions of years. I would do it but people would just say I copied him!
Even going to the shops when you are a genius is difficult, firstly because most of the shops I go into seem to have employed utter morons who don’t seem to know what day it is and have little idea why they are standing behind the counter apart from yawning, sending txt messages and generally ignoring the rest of the world. It would be most useful if someone could, and I’ll give this idea for free, because that’s the role of us geniuses, to try and make the world a better place, start us a shop just for us geniuses. You could employ some of the brighter school leavers, the ones with A Levels in Maths, Physics and Philosophy for example (from the better schools of course so they have manners too) so that we could at least have some sort of meaningful conversation when we buy a nice dickey bow or a corduroy jacket with leather elbows.
When you’re an intellectual most people think you’re a bit of a know it all, but that’s because WE ARE - dimwits! I can give you an opinion on any subject you would want to discuss, go on try it, ask me a question – I dare you! You’ll get back from me a considered and intelligent reply which, you will find will enlighten you and make your life 100 per cent better. Most of the time, you see, we are kind people, us geniuses, we understand, the problems people face who only have an average IQ, the insecurity of knowing that there are people brighter than themselves, the indecision, because they can’t make up their minds that filters into every facet of their days, for example, should I have the Maltesers or the Mars bar? The chicken sandwich or the cheese? You don’t see me hovering around the sandwich bar humming and aarring. No sireee I know what I want and I go out and get it! I make decisions based upon quick and logical thinking, my huge IQ sorting out these issues quicker than that IBM computer they advertise on TV.
O yes its tough having the gift of a fabulous intellect.
By the way, have none of you read my last post? If you have why has nobody sent me the £20,000 I need? I can’t understand it, I expected my bank account to be choka bloc by yesterday evening and when I looked, not one penny, dime or centime. Look here’s the deal once I reach my target, anything over the 20 grand (plus expenses) I’ll send to the starving orphans OK? Now get donating or I’ll invent something hideous!
It’s just that us geniuses have such a hard time. I mean look at the evidence in history, if we’re not mutilating ourselves, cutting ears off or committing suicide then some revolutionary oik who probably never went to school is putting us up against the wall spitting and swearing at us as we get shot between the eyes, the final indignity – the bullet to the brain! No finesse at all, at least the French invented a machine!
Being a bit of a bright spark in these modern times isn’t so easy either, we’re not all famous like that Stephen Hawking who has people fawning at his every robotic utterance, anyway what’s so good about a ‘brief’ history of time, if he was really clever he would write a long history of time, as time has been around for millions of years. I would do it but people would just say I copied him!
Even going to the shops when you are a genius is difficult, firstly because most of the shops I go into seem to have employed utter morons who don’t seem to know what day it is and have little idea why they are standing behind the counter apart from yawning, sending txt messages and generally ignoring the rest of the world. It would be most useful if someone could, and I’ll give this idea for free, because that’s the role of us geniuses, to try and make the world a better place, start us a shop just for us geniuses. You could employ some of the brighter school leavers, the ones with A Levels in Maths, Physics and Philosophy for example (from the better schools of course so they have manners too) so that we could at least have some sort of meaningful conversation when we buy a nice dickey bow or a corduroy jacket with leather elbows.
When you’re an intellectual most people think you’re a bit of a know it all, but that’s because WE ARE - dimwits! I can give you an opinion on any subject you would want to discuss, go on try it, ask me a question – I dare you! You’ll get back from me a considered and intelligent reply which, you will find will enlighten you and make your life 100 per cent better. Most of the time, you see, we are kind people, us geniuses, we understand, the problems people face who only have an average IQ, the insecurity of knowing that there are people brighter than themselves, the indecision, because they can’t make up their minds that filters into every facet of their days, for example, should I have the Maltesers or the Mars bar? The chicken sandwich or the cheese? You don’t see me hovering around the sandwich bar humming and aarring. No sireee I know what I want and I go out and get it! I make decisions based upon quick and logical thinking, my huge IQ sorting out these issues quicker than that IBM computer they advertise on TV.
O yes its tough having the gift of a fabulous intellect.
By the way, have none of you read my last post? If you have why has nobody sent me the £20,000 I need? I can’t understand it, I expected my bank account to be choka bloc by yesterday evening and when I looked, not one penny, dime or centime. Look here’s the deal once I reach my target, anything over the 20 grand (plus expenses) I’ll send to the starving orphans OK? Now get donating or I’ll invent something hideous!
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1 comment:
Oh Dr. Rob, if you only knew a fraction of what I know you would not be surprised at just how much of an ignoramus you truly are. I should know; I gave you your brain and all the knowledge that has been directed your way thus far. Yet I am a tiny bit disappointed in the way in which you have chosen to use these gifts that I have graciously given over to you. I saw you look the other way when you saw a need from your fellow man the other day. That person was me in human disguise you twit. Try a bit harder to pay back my graciousness would you? And remember these wise words:
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Proverbs 26:12
So say the Great I am.
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